That’s what my wife has been telling me ever since I left my job a few weeks ago. Instead of seeing me slowing down, taking some time off, and maybe getting to that long-awaited house project, she has seen me charge right ahead working on determining my next career step. Whether it’s setting up this blog, scheduling various networking meetings, or researching item XYZ, I can’t seem to “turn off”.
Last summer, when I knew I would be leaving my job yet things were insanely busy, I yearned for this time off that I knew would come. This would be the time when I would have no more work responsibilities, deadlines, and worries and could just relax. Now that this time is here it’s not exactly what I imagined. Sure, I certainly feel more relaxed than I did then but I still wake up in the morning asking myself what I need to do today.
So, what’s going on? Why can’t I turn off my sense of urgency? I don’t feel any stress about an uncertain future. Financially I’m ok for a while and I feel perfectly comfortable not knowing what my next job will be. There is something else going on. My wife thinks it is a mechanism for avoiding those house projects she’d like done. I doubt that’s it as there are certainly simpler ways to procrastinate!
Maybe it’s just habit. Maybe after thirty years of being focused on plans, progress, commitments, deadlines, etc. my head can’t just come to a screeching halt and that after a month or two it will slow down. Maybe…but maybe not.
I do feel that if I take time off I may miss that “perfect opportunity”. People have told me not to worry about this – that I am equally likely to find something attractive later in the year than next month. Despite that, however, I can’t help but feel that I need to be out there pursuing every networking lead I have sooner rather than later.
Is this all a bad thing? I don’t know. I suppose I’ll end up doing what feels natural to me. This likely means somewhat of a slowdown but not a complete, total escape. What I can’t help but wonder is whether I’d be better off in the long run by forcing myself to “turn off” for a month or two with the expectation of then returning more fully rejuvenated and with some new perspective. But I don’t know if I could really do that…
Thoughts? Advice?